GOVERNMENTS are in the greatest trouble when people start laughing at them. To counter the charge that this country is being run by Mr Bean, it might be time to expand the big tent and welcome some new players to the team of all the talents who could help to dig them out of a hole. Here are some suggestions. Cynics may say there is more chance of finding Osama bin Laden riding Shergar than
there is of locating the CDs containing the private and confidential information of millions of British citizens. However, one security expert who might confound them is France’s greatest detective, Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau. He has recovered the famous Pink Panther diamond on several occasions. A master of the defensive arts, he has survived many assassination attempts – including several by his own boss. Recently recuperated from a harassment after a cat did a whoopsy in his beret, Frank Spencer is now raring to go. He has been unemployed for some time, but the Government is keen to get people back into work and Mr Spencer is a man of many parts (none of them fully functioning). His interests include “mending things I have already broken†– which would be invaluable. When there’s trouble in store, it’s an opportune moment for the getting of wisdom. Norman Pitkin used to be big in Albania where he was regarded as a representative of the workers struggling against capitalism. That s unlikely to endear him to some Labour big-wigs, but Norman’ s superior, Mr Grimsdale, can usually be relied on to keep him in order. So don’t laugh at him because he’s a fool. The only things stopping these three masterminds being signed up immediately is the possibility that this has already been done some time ago and the thought that there are too many clowns at Westminster as it is.
