LABOUR party apparatchiks have finally got round to seeking a new general secretary to replace the unfortunate Peter Watt. It would be too easy to poke fun at the advert placed in The Guardian this week, but here goes.

The candidate, it says, must “help the party meet both long term and more immediate challenges”. Translation: stop taking dodgy donations but collect enough money to save us from electoral oblivion.

The General Secretary “ensures that we are compliant with all relevant legislation”. Translation: if you’re going to break the law, make sure it looks like you did it on your own.