There’s nothing worse that trying to stuff damp political literature through letterboxes in a relentless Pennine drizzle. Believe me, I’ve been there and have the frostbitten fingers to prove it.And while we’re on the subject, why are so many private home letterboxes akin to mediaeval torture machines? People fit every manner of spring-loaded jaws and lobster-pot finger-traps to those innocent-looking holes in the front door. Or they fit a slot as close to the ground as possible, so that you have to bend double to risk digit laceration.It’s at times like these that you have to admire posties. They have to do this every day, in all weathers. Well done, lads and lasses.
There are worse ways to spend a bright sunny morning on May Day than delivering leaflets in the village. You get to know the neighbourhood far more intimately than routine journeys to the Co-op or the pub. There are little stone terraces tucked away from the main road that I didn’t know existed, and houses adapted from old industrial buildings invisible from the high street.
You also get to recognise the danger signs on the front door: the marks of a dog pawing or scratching, which could mean a sharp-toothed risk lurking just inside. Years of experience have taught me never to push my hand through the opening, but to fold the leaflet and ram it through. Sometimes this means the literature gets a bit crumpled, but the message from Labour, like the United States mail, always get through.
There are other signs. A large St George flag prominently displayed in the window, especially if there are no curtains and the garden is overgrown, says: “BNP may be here”. A huge 4×4 parked anyhow across the pavement – usually called a “Warrior” or an “Animal” or some such macho bollocks, why don’t they just call them “Killers”? – also suggests the natives might be hostile. But on this trip, delivering more than 200 leaflets, I encountered nothing but good manners on the doorstep. If challenged by the owner of a letterbox saying “No junk mail”, I had a prepared patter: “But this isn’t mail and it isn’t junk. It’s an important election communication from the Labour Party. Part of our democracy.”
Not needed on this voyage. Our glossy leaflets came ready-made with Labour’s message about the cuts, national and local, plus a photograph of the two local candidates and a two-line description. They were professional enough, although they might have offered a little more information.
It’s quite something that both wards for Craven District Council are being fought by Labour. By the time you read this, we will probably know the result – but I will be surprised if we win either. Glusburn was contested by the CLP secretary, retired social worker Bob Holland, and Sutton was fought by Keith Reeves, a local headmaster. Both wards are Victorian mill villages, although in Sutton (home of the big Silentnight strike) the mill is now flats and Glusburn is occupied by a high-tech manufacturing company keen to build houses on land at the back. These days, we are in commuter territory.But we’re only a small part of the big picture across Yorkshire. In Leeds and Bradford, the elections should consolidate Labour’s hold on power, while Sheffield and Hull are also ripe for shaking by the Miliband surge. It’s even possible that the Liberal Democrats will be swept out of office in York, while any Tory gains are likely to be at the expense of their coalition partner in toff towns such as Harrogate and on the rural councils in the north and east of the county. A return to two-party politics is on the cards, courtesy of Nick Clegg’s capers.
And that trend is certain to be magnified by the outcome of the referendum. There is no appetite whatever for AV up ’ere. Obviously the Tories are agin, while Labour voters tend to be traditionally-minded. With the Lib Dems facing a rout in the local elections, a dismal showing for their “miserable little compromise” on electoral reform will marginalise them further.Much the same could happen elsewhere.
Walking over Westminster Bridge the other day, a happy John Mann MP told me he expects Labour to win in Bassetlaw council wards where they’ve never won before. He holds out particular hopes for an 18-year-old novice in a “safe” Tory seat. This is the stuff to give the troops or, rather, for the troops to give their leader.What will he do with success in the council polls? Ed Miliband has so far given no sign of knowing how to capitalise on victory. And what will he do with defeat on the alternative vote, in favour of which he has sounded such an uncertain trumpet at the head of a self-indulgently divided Shadow Cabinet? The people who have done the winning are entitled to ask. I wonder if we’ll get any answers.
