It’s about time, some may say. The British National Party has been threatened with court action. The Equality and Human Rights Commission has contacted the fascist party over the possibility that its constitution may not comply fully with the law. According to the BNP’s constitution, it exists to represent
the “collective National, Environmental, Political, Racial, Folkish, Social, Cultural, Religious and Economic interests of the indigenous Anglo-Saxon, Celtic and Norse folk communities of Britain and those we regard as closely related and ethnically assimilated or assimilable aboriginal members of the European race also resident in Britain”.  Well, there’s nothing there that might upset Horst Wessel, but it does seem to imply that if the BNP thinks you are not “assimilable”, it will discriminate against you. And it thinks that about a lot of people.

Can it be that a lady of substantial build – perhaps one of those invited to his parties – is about to sing for the Silvio Berlusconi show? The 72-year-old rogue has so far survived allegations of bribery and corruption, but could he be undone, as it were, by a sex scandal? Two women are claiming to have been paid to attend the Italian Prime Minister’s soirees and it is alleged that one of them had sex with him. While is doubtful that she was paid enough, it is alleged that her reward was that the old goat pushed through a building project that had hitherto stalled. Even this may not dent his general popularity, but: “It’s like having Benny Hill as your Prime Minister”, according to his critics.

Was it a coincidence or did David Cameron choose the day of the Speaker farce to bury bad news? That was the day he chose to announce the Tories’ toxic new alliances in the European Parliament, a bunch of racists, fascists and climate change deniers. Their new friends abroad include a Dutch ultra-religious party, the Christian Union, which believes shops should not open on Sundays, opposes abortion, believes that town hall officials should refuse to perform gay marriages and opens its arms to asylum seekers only if they can prove that seeking asylum was their god’s will. Europe watcher Denis MacShane says: “We know about the gay-bashing and anti-Semitic Poles as well as the Latvian extremists who venerate the Waffen SS and the Hungarian Democratic Forum and its dodgy financial deals but really, are the Tories now going to support campaigns to ban Sunday shopping?” It should be interesting to see who the international speakers are at the Tory conference.  Representatives should start practising their salutes – and saying their prayers – now.

Some expense is worth it, as page six of Gordon Brown’s redacted expenses show (pictured). Proof that if you want to reach into the lofty heights of power you have to be in Tribune. But what have the mad redacters found in this subscription form that requires such heavy censoring? The uncensored form shows just a promotional blurb, our address and a subscription form. What are they afraid of?

Award-winning (that will embarrass him) campaigner Peter Tatchell is feeling a bit miffed. Turning up at  London’s Conway Hall to make a speech on “multiculturalism and the subversion of human rights”, Peter witnessed a speaker at another meet at the same venue being mobbed and abused. Douglas Murray, of the Centre for Social Cohesion, was ambushed on his way to a debate on Sharia Law by members of al-Muhajiroun, an extreme Islamist movement which operates under the guise of the Global Issues Society. There were no injuries, except to Peter’s pride. Normally a lightning rod for any fundamentalist abuse, he was ignored. “It was such a let down”, he tells Tribune. “I am obviously no longer the thorn in the side

Some people may have balked at the appointment of Sir Alan Sugar as business tsar – particularly those parliamentarians who have failed in the task of distinguishing their arse from their elbow and now dread hearing his catchphrase: “You’re fired!” At least Gordon Brown has been able to take some time out during all his travails to watch a bit of telly. But whatever next? Simon Cowell as skills tsar? Susan Boyle and Dame Vera Lynn invited to lead a national sing-song? Sir Alan went with his “gut instinct” in determining this year’s winner of The Apprentice, opting for Yasmina Siadatan even though she admitted to some “quite serious errors” and oversaw the launch of a product which just about everyone found unpalatable. The grumpy entrepreneur should feel right at home with Labour, then.

There may be a smidgen of good news in these desperate times: the completion of the “new” Labour project. This would finally be accomplished, proclaimed Tony Blair, “when the Labour Party learns to love Peter Mandelson”. Presumably this has now come to pass, with Baron Mandy glorying in his elevated role as First Secretary of State, Secretary of State for Business, Innovation and Skills, Lord President of the Council, de facto Deputy Prime Minister and saviour of Gordon Brown’s job.

The British National Party has launched its first invasion of British institutions – the Sudetenland outpost of the Press Complaints Commission. In an orchestrated effort to cleanse itself of fascist and new-Nazi stains, members have been instructed to make complaints on any and every pretext in order to deter the media from perpetuating the truth. About 3,000 complaints have been received from individual members, about 80-90 per cent of the PCC’s current workload. Don’t they realise, fascism is what’s inside the suit, not the cut of the cloth?

Lord Mandy has quietly capitulated again to his chums in the boardrooms. Earlier this week, he shelved plans to let mothers and fathers share a year of leave from their place of work to help ease the burden of childcare. The proposal, first raised four years ago, would have meant that a father could take over the full-time care of a child when it was six months old, allowing the mother to return to her job. Bosses, who can probably afford to pay for childcare out of their bonuses, whined that it would be too costly and create “red tape”. Now Mandy has used the excuse of “tough economic times” to put the socially progressive scheme on ice while a “fresh look” is taken at the costs and benefits. Where’s that dustbin?

If you think Westminster is bad , Volume 43: two independent reports claim that a third of newly-elected Indian MPs have criminal charges pending against them, 15 of them involving murder. That’s a total of 153 out of 543, including nine ministers, according to the Association of Democratic Reforms and the National Election Watch. It might save taxpayers’ money if the biggest democratic electorate in the world had a court building attached to its
parliament.